We've Lost Our Minds

When I was a kid growing up in Ohio, all I wanted was a dog. I used to get up every birthday and Christmas and check boxes in hopes that a puppy would be inside. As I grew older, I realized that my parents were not dog people and the only way I'd over own a dog, was if I purchased one on my own. In fact, my parents were not animal people, period. In the 5th grade my pet goldfish jumped out of his bowl and died. You know your home isn't hospitable to pets when an animal with a legendarily short memory has had enough. 

Erica was the polar opposite...she always had dogs. I've heard hilarious stories over the years about Molly, Zeke, Trusty and Simba. Simba was famous by getting pregnant multiple times from the various neighborhood hounds. If Maury Povich had a segment of "Are You the Father of My Baby?" for animals, Simba would have been his first guest.

So, when Erica and I rented our first apartment in Knoxville we purchased a beagle named Linus from a breeder in Greeneville, TN. Linus passed unexpectedly back in 2005, but by the Spring of 2006 we were gifted another beagle named Sammy. Sammy lived to be nearly 17 years old. He was a good-looking pup but about as sharp as a basketball and incredibly stubborn. In fact, Sammy wasn't an ideal pet until his last 2 years when he became deaf and nearly blind. Seriously, it took our dog being placed on full disability before he became easy to deal with. 

When Sammy passed, we agreed it would be some time before we brought another dog into our home. As the kids grew, we were (and are still) continuously on the "go" and not in an environment conducive for a pet, let alone a puppy. The kids begged for a new dog all the time and our message to them was simple, "Do the research, come up with a plan to divide chores associated with the dog and we can talk."  They never got past the brainstorming stage, so we never purchased them a dog. 

A few months ago, I started to reintroduce the idea of a dog. Erica was hesitant to discuss it, but seemed to soften as the days and weeks went on. I wanted a puppy from a breeder and Erica was more inclined to a pound puppy from a local shelter. Still, with the kids schedules and my traveling for work I believe Erica was afraid she'd end up with the lion's share of responsibilities associated with a small animal. And after Kyle passed, I decided to shelve the idea indefinitely as we continued to deal with our grief. 

But as John Lennon once famously said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." On Monday, Leah's former kindergarten teacher brought over dinner for our family. During our brief visit she mentioned that the breeder she purchased her latest puppy from had a litter with three golden retriever puppies left (hint, hint). We laughed the idea off finding the very suggestion ridiculous. And then the breeder reached out to us directly. She was aware of our situation and wanted to gift us a pure bred (White) Golden Retriever boy puppy as a way to bring joy into our lives. Between the hours of 5PM to 8PM Monday night we went from not even entertaining the idea of owning a pet to purchasing dog toys from Wal-Mart.com and Amazon. 

When we visited the puppies on Tuesday we were impressed with the breeders, their backstory and the puppies themselves. Of the three puppies left, two of them were rambunctious while the third boy was laid back and calm. When he walked over to Erica, she reached down to pick him up. He laid in her lap, and she loved on and snuggled next to him. She then looked down - he was wearing a read collar with baseballs on it. If you're looking for a sign, this was a lightning bolt to the head. He is 10 weeks and 2 days old; he sleeps all night in his cage and is doing a really good job with housetraining. Meet Bubba - the newest member of the Mooney family. And for the uninitiated, Bubba was Leah's nickname for Kyle. 

We are smitten with this pup who in less than 48 hours has brought us so much joy and laughter. A dog is not a replacement for any one person, but it is nice to have a central figure that we can rally our energy around to love and adore.

Last evening we took Bubba to a friend's house for dinner and to play with their dog, who’s roughly 2-1/2. Leah was carrying Bubba into their house when she remarked, "Now we're the perfect family!" It caught Erica and I off guard and upset us both. We overreacted and upset Leah, and it took us all a few minutes to collect ourselves. Leah was apologetic and sad for what she said, and we both forgave her...there was no ill will in her statement. She was happy and for a brief moment likely forgot that her brother's no longer with us. She was joyful and excited for her new puppy which was the whole point behind agreeing to get a dog in the first place.

When Leah came outside to apologize to me, I was with Bubba as he sniffed around in the grass in the backyard. I told her, "If given the chance to have this dog or your brother back for a minute I'd choose your bother every time." Then we both started to cry, and she told me she missed him. She then put her hands on my cheeks and gave me a kiss. And in true Leah fashion, wiped my kiss off her lips and started to laugh.

What I didn't tell Leah is that we're not and have never been perfect. And we weren't the perfect family when Kyle was alive either. A part of our soul has been amputated, and we'll never get it back. But if you're going to attempt to fill the void left by Kyle why not fill it with a handsome, sweet, funny and smart goofball named Bubba. Because while Bubba certainly doesn't make us perfect, maybe we're all perfect for each other.